Picture My World

I’m doing it. I’m really selling the car. And for some reason I feel terrible.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel so bad. I was expecting to feel relief on a number of levels. Financially, the car is an unfair burden to place on the family. Personally, I no longer have the time to drive it like its meant to be driven. Globally, it and its 6 cylinder engine are not good for the environment. When I think ahead to being rid of it, I do feel better, so it must be the sale itself.

I know that part of it is the negotiation. I hate negotiations. I take them too personally and cannot make rational decisions. I’m trying to mitigate that by consigning the car and letting professionals handle that aspect. However, there will be some negotiation in determining their fee.

I think I’ve put my finger on the other part of what is troubling me and I am loath to admit it (but I will because it’s more of a comment on society).

I’m worried that people are going to look at the condition of this car as a reflection of me.

There. I said it.

I think it’s sick and I hate the fact that there is so much *meaning* wrapped up in a car. Even if it is a classic. I know I’m not saying anything new here. Our culture over-emphasizes the importance of “stuff” and many of us get caught up in it.

But I didn’t buy the car as a status symbol. I honestly wanted a sports car that I could *drive* (*really* drive) for the sheer pleasure of it. I agonized over the purchase for months to the point of talking to my rabbi about it. I convinced myself my ego had only a small part to play; however, after getting the car I will admit feeling a certain buzz when people ogled it.

Maybe the car has become a status symbol and I’m conflicted over selling it. Maybe I just care too much about what strangers think about me. Or maybe I’m just worried that I won’t get a fair price for the thing and I’m over analyzing all this.

Ah well… I’m sure my seller’s angst will be replaced by buyer’s remorse soon enough. I’ve just ordered one of these.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 at 4:56 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.